Trump feared to have Andy Rooney Syndrome!

Although it has not yet been confirmed, rumors persist about the health of the president of the United States!

A reporter who wishes to remain anonymous because of fears that his/her/their press privileges may be pulled if the administration learned reporters were reporting anything that could be construed as pessimistic about the president or people that he likes.

Nevertheless, here at Two Hoots / IOTA News, it is critical that the American people know if their president is suffering from a possible disease or, in this case, a syndrome.

The reporter, who wishes to remain anonymous, quoted an administration staffer as saying, "There have been some tense moments around here. It's something they don't want to get out..." The staffer also wishes to remain anonymous because they enjoy bringing the president and his close staff coffee every morning and don't want to risk their job. The unnamed staffer said, "It pays well, and the White House is kept neat and clean, and I like that."

A second source, the parking attendant at the hospital where the president's doctor works, who wanted to remain anonymous, said after parking the doctor's car, he found and read the doctor's notes regarding the president's condition, and he confirmed what many had feared.

The president does, in fact, have a syndrome.

The syndrome we refer to is best known in the medical community as Supercilium syndrome locis fruticibus or bushy eyebrow syndrome, but is more commonly known as Andy Rooney Eyebrow Syndrome - ARES for short.

Andy Rooney Eyebrow Syndrome can lead to many issues for the afflicted and those around them and have a myriad of side effects, but most notable of these is the propensity of the afflicted to go on and on as thought confused, meandering, and babbling about things that make little sense or relevance to anyone but the Andy Rooney Eyebrow Syndrome sufferer.

They will just blurt out such things as “I try to look nice. I comb my hair, I tie my tie, I put on a jacket, but I draw the line when it comes to trimming my eyebrows... - Andy Rooney Nov. 24, 1995.

Suspicions were first raised way back when President Trump first held office. He said some really bizarre, nonsensical things, but during the last campaign, concerns grew even stronger. Along with the wacky things he was saying, observers observed his eyebrows growing at an unusual rate and noted his frustration when it was suggested he get an eyebrow trim.

Another source who wants to remain unidentified because they are having an affair with a White House staffer and the staffer talks in his/her/their sleep and the source didn't want them to know. But the unidentified source reports that the White House is most afraid that "Bob Woodward will get wind of the story and and get an interview. Whenever he interviews Trump, for some reason Trump just spills the beans.

That and the fact Woodward has almost no eyebrows!